Mythbusters
by Adaon
Summary: Warning: do not try this at home, Heero is a highly trained professional, and Duo is, well Duo. 1xR sort of side plot.
1. The Set Up

Mythbusters 1: How He Was Drafted  
  
Disclaimer, I do not own Gundam Wing, and Mythbusters is a show on discovery which inspired this.   
  
The air reeked of an evil smell, a smell that spelled doom for one who made the mistake of getting to close. So maybe doom was overstating things a little, but there is no chance on earth any self-respecting male want to be anywhere near that. Unfortunately, there was a message to be delivered, so he took a deep breath (planning to hold it) and advanced forward.  
  
"Relena."  
  
*tearing noise* "What is it?"   
  
(She's waxing her legs)  
  
"You're secretary just called reminding you about your promise to fill an hour on a television charity drive this weekend."  
  
At first on her face was a look of confusion, then understanding, then a look that resembled a collage student realizing they have two hours to write a five page essay. "I forgot! What am I going to come up with to fill an hour?!"  
  
*silence*  
  
"Heero, I'm really asking, what can I do?"  
  
He shrugged, "How should I know? You're the public speaker."  
  
"I doubt seriously my talking about politics for an hour would raise much money for charity, come on can't you think of anything?"  
  
"I have degrees in engineering, computer science, and history, and I flew around in a gundam, exactly what part of my resume qualifies me to entertain people?"  
  
"Ha, ha, great, more sarcasm, just what I needed." After one particular frustrated and hard pull a little blood dripped onto her shirt.   
  
"Ouch! Great now I've got blood on my favorite casual shirt." She reached for the can of soda she had been drinking and pored it over the stain.  
  
Heero blinked, "... Why did you just do that?"  
  
Relena who was busy wiping with a towel responded "Well I heard once that soda can take blood stains out..."  
  
He lightly chuckled "that's just an urban myth, but if you wash them right now it should still come out."  
  
"Don't laugh at me! How am I supposed to know something like that is just made up?"  
  
"That fact that it sounds utterly ridicules?"  
  
"Don't tell me you've never believed something that was just an urban myth."  
  
"There was a time I thought a Duck's Quack didn't echo."  
  
"It... does?"  
  
"It's sort of strange the way it actually works, but yes it does in fact echo."  
  
"How do you know this stuff?"  
  
"Actually I wrote an engineering paper on urban legends."  
  
You could easily picture the cartoonish bubble with turning gears as she said "So... You happen to know a lot about urban myths?"  
  
He began slowly backing away "... yes..."  
  
"Like say... maybe enough to fill an hours worth of time?"  
  
He turned to begin a mad dash out of the room.  
  
"Heero Yuy! Get back in here you coward!"  
  
Begrudgingly, he lowered his head and came back in.  
  
"So about those urban myths?"  
  
"I am NOT going to do your hour for you."  
  
"Then how about you just demonstrate?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"I'll narrate the myths, you prove they are just fiction by recreating them. You could get any supplies and help you need from Duo! Oh this will be great!"  
  
"Hold on a second, I didn't agree to anything."  
  
She just gave him a puppy-dog eyes look.  
  
"... Fine."  
  
She brightened, glomped him, kissed him, and he wondered how exactly he was going to pull all this off in three days.  
  
**** 


	2. The Show

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, and Mythbusters is a show on discovery.

I have two big thank yous, one to Kanya Barton for beta reading, and Calla for helping me work up the guts to post this in the first place.

Mythbusters 2: The Show 

As he scanned the room, he noticed the little details that were designed for intimidation. The acoustics were subtly designed for a small echo, the guest seats were lower, forcing you to look up at the office's owner. And, oh yeah, there were the armed guards outside as well. 

The office belonged to the commander of the preventers; yes, it was Une's office. Yes, the Une who was responsible for him having to blow himself up, the one who set him up to blow up the shuttle of pacifitces, the one somehow managed to be involved in almost all of the worst experiences in his life. She really wasn't on his Christmas card list. 

"Mr. Yuy, I go to great pains to show leniency to the former Gundam pilots..." _Trowa would be very upset if you didn't_, he thought, "but there simply are some things I can't overlook..." _And the fact that I'm highly tempted to shoot you right now is?_ "You recently have made several unusual purchases," _If she brings up THAT* I am shooting her, promise or no. Next time Pagan can make the late night purchase when she runs out_, "15 pounds of gunpowder, an odd grade at that. And several dozen rounds of ammunition that would be used in a medium power rifle." _Which I'm starting to wish I had with me. How much longer do I have to listen to this_? 

"Now it would do a lot to ease my mind if you would explain these purchases." _Your mind needs a lot more then that. _

"For charity." 

"Charity?" _Is there an Echo in hear? Oh that's right, there is. _

"Charity." _Have I mentioned I hate repeating myself?_

"I fail to see how that much explosive power is going to be used to benefit charity, are you planning to hold a building hostage?" _Tempting, very tempting, I could place the charges... _

"The odd grade of gunpowder is due to the fact that it replicates medieval gunpowder, it and, along with it, the ammunition will be used for disproving urban myths as a means for entertainment on the charity television marathon this weekend." 

"How does medieval style gunpowder help you disprove myths?" 

"That would ruin the surprise," he smirked, knowing full well he was irritating her. 

"Then I have no other choice," his smirked dropped, "but to assign appropriate preventer supervision, after all," now she smirked, "I can't have people thinking I'm not doing my job. Agent Chang will oversee this, dismissed." _And did I mention I don't like her very much? _

*** 

"I heard she assigned Chang to your little project," Trowa said casually. 

"Hn," he grunted back. 

"If you want, I could try convincing her..." 

"Unnecessary." 

"Really, I wouldn't mind..." 

"Barton, if you feel like seducing her, just do it, you never needed an excuse before." 

"Well I don't _NEED_ one, but it makes things much more interesting. So have you got everything for tomorrow?" 

"All except the tree trunk, it's being delivered tomorrow." 

"A tree trunk? How does that fit into anything?" 

***** 

"4 2 liter bottles of soda?" Trowa said. 

"With logos removed, check," Duo replied. 

"20lbs of gunpowder?" 

"Check." 

"Tree trunk?" 

"Check." 

"Acid?" 

"Check." 

"2 steaks?" 

"Check." 

"Strange goo covered coins?" 

"Check, what is that stuff?" 

"No clue, looks like we have everything on Heero's list." 

"Hey, what does he actually call these coins on his list?" 

"Goo covered, and aged coins." 

***** 

"Ok Heero, moment of truth, what's going on?" Relena asked. 

"Relena, here's your script," Heero said to her, disregarding her question. 

"I get a script?" 

"How else will you know what the myths are were disproving?" 

"Good point, are we ready." 

"Hn. Roll the camera, let's get this started." 

**** 

Relena: "There is probably no single item in the world with more urban legends than soda. Our professionals will now examine several of them. The first myth that we will prove or disprove is that soda is acidic." 

"Ok Mr. Mythbuster, what's wrong with this one?" Duo asked. 

"The most obvious thing is that if it were true, a lot more people would need false teeth. Especially you," Heero replied. 

Duo brought his hand up to his chest, "you wound me, really. So how do we go about disproving this one?" 

"We are going to do two tests to replicate the conditions of the myth, the first is using animal teeth, and the second will be using a steak." 

"Uh Heero, we don't have any animal teeth." 

He glared. 

"Dare I ask what you're going to use instead?" 

"Funny you should ask, hold still." 

Duo starts backing away "Oh no! You're not getting anywhere near me!" 

His retreat was going fairly well, until the supervising preventer agent grabbed him from behind and held him in place. "Come on Wufei! What did I ever do to you?" Duo whined. 

"You want a list? There was replacing my shampoo with that peach scented _female_ product, spiking my water to get me drunk, and the whoopie cushion in my car," Wufei said, his face turning red from anger. 

"Aw come on 'Fei that's all ancient history." 

"It was **_last night_**!" 

Heero approached slowly, Duo continued his pleading, Heero's hand raised up to chin level with Duo, his squirming increased as he tried to escape... 

And Heero reached in Duo's shirt pocket and took out the animal teeth that Duo had stolen as a prank. 

Duo fainted. 

Relena, being the narrator, with Heero's goal being to speak as little as possible, now resumed her narration. "The animal tooth will be left in a beaker for a 24-hour period to see whether or not the soda will erode the tooth. But instead of just stopping there, our Mythbusters are going the extra mile. Instead of just recreating the myth, they will recreate the result. 

"One of the beakers will contain soda and one tooth, a second will contain acid and an identical tooth to produce the result of the myth. In addition to that, we will test it using these raw steaks, again one with the soda and one with the acid. 

"The next urban legend is that soda can clean coins, for demonstration the Mythbusters will be using an old and a gunk-covered coin.In this case there won't be a comparison because of the nature of this one. Again this will sit for 24 hours." 

"So what are you planning to do otherwise while that is going on?" Wufei asked. 

"What else? Move on to the next myth." 

***** 

Relena quickly flipped back to the page she was supposed to be on, annoyed her script didn't contain any of the results. "For the next myth Trowa Barton, ammunitions expert, has been brought in and will be working with our preventer Wufei Chang to replicate our next myth. In this myth, a medieval town built a cannon out of a tree overnight, then overloaded it with gunpowder and the exploding cannon destroyed the town." 

"What's this about me and Barton replicating the myth?" Wufei asked, his tone reeking with annoyance. 

"I have full confidence in your abilities," Heero replied smugly. 

"And why didn't you mention this before?" 

"You could have said no." 

"And why won't I now?" 

"Because I wouldn't edit your rejection out of the tape, it would be a huge publicity blow to the preventers, and you could pretty much count on your next duty assignment involving penguins." 

"I hate you." 

"Consider it payback for the whole 'I'll start a war to judge humanity' thing." 

***** 

"So how do we make a cannon out of a tree trunk?" Wufei asked. 

"First of all, this is a drill they would have used which Barton is going to use to drill the hole, then you will soon see what the first problem with this myth is," Heero replied. 

"Meanwhile?" 

"I'm going outside to work on the next myth with Duo." 

***** 

"Now we return to our urban legends about soda, for the next two tests we will be using this dirt covered truck, the taped line running across it will separate the side on which the soda will be tested from the side where we will be using the other product." 

Duo has recovered and is holding a pair of 2 liter soda bottles. 

"The first test will be the soda on chrome, on half of the front bumper a professional chrome cleaning product will be used, on the other half soda." 

Duo's mood seemed to have improved as he asked "Do I get to pour the soda?" 

"Go ahead." 

Duo did just that on one half of the bumper while Heero used the professional cleaning product on the other half. After finishing with each side they stood back and looked over the whole front bumper. 

"Huh, whould'a thunk it, the soda actually did a little better then the professional product." 

"In this case, the urban legend is actually true." 

***** 

"Next up: is soda any good on corrosion? Duo will use soda on half of the truck under the hood, and then Heero will spray the area with water to see if the soda does any good." 

Duo applies the soda, with only minimal and hardly worth mentioning success, he looks to the camera and says "The soda really didn't do any good in there, but we'll hold off on the official judgement until Heero has hosed it down." 

Heero proceeds with the hose, the surface dirt washes away quickly, but since little pressure is being applied most of the corrosion remains. 

"Final analysis on this one, Heero?" 

"The soda did nothing for the corrosion, all it did was get rid of some surface dirt, it's no better then just using water." 

"Then, I'd have to say, _Myth-busted_!" 

***** 

"Now we check back in with Trowa and Wufei, who, an hour later, have only managed to get a couple inches into the trunk of the tree. At this point it's extremely easy to see that they couldn't have made the cannon overnight, so that part of the myth has been busted, for the sake of getting on with this they'll move on to using power tools to finish making the cannon." 

Trowa pulls out a long drill and quickly finishes the barrel of the cannon. 

"Sooo, what next, oh great engineer? How does a tree with a hole in it become a cannon?" 

"The tree is going to need bracing. After that, it will be ready to go" 

Wufei and Trowa began working with the forge and iron bands Heero had arranged for. Using the heat to make the iron flexible, they hammered the 5 bands in place around the barrel of the cannon. Duo followed behind with a water jug, cooling off the iron after it was in place, and cracking various jokes whenever the flames came up when Wufei hammered the iron. After that, a few finishing touches were put in place. 

"So, we have a cannon now?" 

"Yes, and we will put it to the test tomorrow." 

***** 

The next day, back with the soda. "After sitting in soda for 24 hours have the tooth and the steak eroded away? Now it's time to see as Duo and Heero check it out." 

The teeth are pulled out of the soda and acid respectively. 

"The tooth from the soda is stained but still intact, no erosion. The tooth from the acid is over half disintegrated." 

"Soda acidic to teeth? _Myth-busted_." 

"Next, the mythbusters check on the steaks." 

"The steak from the soda is a little softer as you would expect after being soaked in any liquid but no erosion. The steak from the acid has come out in pieces, some of it has dissolved but it's a slow process." 

"Soda acid-like in general? _Myth-busted._" 

"And lastly, the aged and the gunk-covered coins." 

"The aged coin has restored well, there is one area where it did not, but there was an air bubble there, which actually goes to further support that soda can clean up the coins. The gunk has come off the other penny fairly well." 

"Soda to clean your coins? Sure." 

***** 

"So just how good of a cannon can you make out of a tree trunk? And can it be overloaded with gunpowder to where it explodes and wipes out a town? We're about to find out as our mythbusters built the tree cannon to the test." 

"To try out the cannon, we are first going to use a tennis ball and a normal charge of gunpowder." 

"For safety purposes, all detonations are being done electronically from behind a barrier." 

The tennis ball is loaded and the cannon fired, the flaming ball comes and launches into the horizon. 

"Well, the cannon has proved effective, so, now we will test the myth. First, by loading in 5 pounds of gunpowder, and then by using a stone ball, which is what would have been used for ammunition." 

The cannon is loaded and successfully fired, it does not explode. 

"Trowa, what say you?" 

"5 pounds is a lot of gunpowder, the cannon is well built and it's safe to say that your not going to blow it up unless you're intentionally trying." 

"Which is exactly what were going to do! So Heero, what's next?" 

"The final part of the myth is that the exploding cannon destroyed the town that built it, so we are going to blow up the cannon to see if it could have enough force to do that. This time we will load ten pounds of gunpowder into it, and seal the barrel of the cannon, with no escape for the explosion the cannon will blow up." 

"The cannon is loaded, sealed, and several pieces of heavy equipment are put in place to contain the explosion." 

The gunpowder is detonated and in a huge explosion the cannon flies apart, the biggest piece of the cannon overshoots all the equipment and lands a few hundred feet away. 

"Wow, that was a **_big_** boom." 

"It would take an extreme overload of gunpowder, and sealing off the cannon so that there was no escape for the force of the explosion, but the cannon could clearly be blown up with enough force to wipe out a small town back then." 

"So what's our final analysis?" 

"This is myth, the time frame is wrong, overloading on powder alone wouldn't make the cannon blow up, to reproduce this would just be to unrealistic." 

"Tree cannon? Sure. Exploding tree cannon? _Myth-busted_!" 

***** 

"We'll that was a success," Relena said. 

"Hn." 

"Duo, Trowa, and Wufei all seemed to enjoy it." 

"Hn." 

"In fact I think I saw them tear up at the sight of a really big explosion." 

"That was just your imagination. So what do I get in return for bailing you out with this?" 

"Funny you should ask that question..."

*****

I will probably do a part three at somepoint, but I don't know when yet.

*In refrence to Drabble Challenge 11 on BI.


	3. This Calls for Revenge

A/N: I don't own Gundam Wing or Mythbusters(A show on Discovery) New episodes of mythbusters are being released this summer.

* * *

As he entered the office he quickly took stock of the situation. It had four occupants, Une naturally was in her own office, as was his wife, and the Noventas. This assembled group clearly left three options. One, answer yes to whatever the question is. Two, face the guilt trip to end all guilt trips. Therefore, he did the logical thing and choose option three.  
  
He turned and ran the other direction...  
  
Right into the waiting force of Trowa and Wufei, apparently someone had predicted this response. As he prepared to take them down, he heard her voice, sadly the time for escape had elapsed.  
  
"Heero Yuy, get back in here!" Why Relena was involved in this was something he was yet to understand, other then they knew he wouldn't say no when they asked whatever it was they were about to.  
  
"Sit."  
  
He complied.  
  
"You ran?"  
  
"Self-preservation."  
  
"You fight how many battles against how many enemies and your worried about what four women are going to do to you?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"I'll never understand why you have to be so overly dramatic about these things, in any event the Noventas' have a request. After seeing the charity show last weekend, they've asked for you to put on another one for the benefit of the Noventa foundation."  
  
Before he had a chance to say anything, he was facing the irresistible force of not one set of the sad puppy-dog like eyes, but three of them. Like he said, the guilt trip to end all guilt trips.  
  
He simply nodded briefly to signify his compliance.

* * *

So here he was, it wasn't bad enough they were making him go through this again, but now everyone was constantly bugging him about what the next myths would be and what the results were. It was greatly slowing the process down, and making it harder for him to figure out exactly what to do to Trowa and Wufei for there involvement in trapping him into this.  
  
He has looking over his old work to decide what he would do, and particularly something for revenge. Then something leaped off the page at him, it was perfect, he would need a lot of pvc pipe, but Duo was good for it.

* * *

In a wearhouse with props from the last episode:  
  
"By the way Heero, we also need to put in a disclaimer."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"So kids don't try this stuff at home."  
  
"You think they could if they wanted to?"  
  
"Well they could for some of them."  
  
"That pose any danger?"  
  
"Still at lest for novelty sake you should put something in."  
  
"Fine, Relena make something up in the introduction."

* * *

"And now our Mythbusters, Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell, remember don't try this at home. Heero is a highly trained professional, and Duo is... well, Duo."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Our first myth: Pennies from Heaven, can a penny be dropped from so high that landing on someone below is fatal?"  
  
"Well I'm kinda scarred of how were going to test this one, But I guess thats why we're on top of the Empire State building?"  
  
"This is the most cited building with the myth, that makes it the perfect place to dispel this myth. So drop a penny of the side."  
  
"Just like that? No make-shift, rigged-up penny-guns, no impact measures, not even a speed gun to clock it going down?"  
  
"No, drop the penny."  
  
"... Ok then, here goes." Duo stretches his arm out and drops a penny over the side of the building, a camera looks over the side, the penny is about 10 floors down on a deck with a bunch of other coins. "You know, it's kind of scary that so many people would try out this myth, but anyhow, what happened here Heero?"  
  
"Wind."  
  
"Wind?"  
  
"The coins get caught in an updraft of wind that happens when it blows against the building, and the coins build up on that observation deck below."  
  
"So that's it, the coins aren't fatal because they can't reach the ground?"  
  
Heero nodded.   
  
"What about if it actually fell?"  
  
"The penny doesn't have enough mass to actually cause any damage, the person it hit would just get a nasty cut."

* * *

"Everyone has been caught out in the rain at some point without an umbrella, and probably ran to get out of the rain to get out of it faster, but does that keep you any drier? It's about to be put to the test. The ceiling of the wearhouse is lined with pipes that will release water at a rate to mimic rainfall, the water has been died red to provide better visibility.  
  
"For this test our mythbusters will be assisted by preventers Wuefi Chang and Trowa Barton."  
  
"Injustice! I refuse to wear this!"  
  
"You have to Wufei, if you don't wear the body suit the test won't be accurate."  
  
"This is Yuy's show, let him walk in the rain. Why should I cooperate with this in the first place?"  
  
"Because I have pictures from your bachelor's party."  
  
He winced, "I'll get you back for this Maxwell."  
  
Trowa and Wufei stood behind a blue tape line on the floor of the wearhouse wearing black wet suits "So Yuy, how does this get tested?"  
  
"Duo will give you both white painter coveralls to wear over the wet suits, then you'll make a series of controlled trips on the100 meter course after which the coats will be weighed, the difference in weight will tell us how much water the outfit absorbed, and the wet suits will cut down on outside influences on the experiment."  
  
Relena resumed her narration, "so our guest mythbusters will make several trips each through the course, each of them will walk once and run once, using different coveralls each time. After the initial test wind speeds will be added in as a variable. So what's better for keeping you dry? Time to check with Heero."  
  
"The average weight is pretty clear that walking absorbed less water then running"  
  
"Surprising as it is, the next time your caught out in the rain. Walk to stay dry, also for safety, you're less likely to slip on water if you take your time."  
  
"Hey Heero, I noticed Wufei and Trowa were shivering a lot, what temperature was that water anyhow?"  
  
"40 degrees."  
  
"Centigrade?"  
  
"Fahrenheit."  
  
"You are very vindictive."  
  
"I know."

* * *

"This next myth might be a little 'shocking' is bringing electrical appliances into the bathtub electrifying? Duo and Heero are about to put it to the test."  
  
"So Heero, since we are putting this to the test I assume you are going to tell us something surprising?"  
  
"Water doesn't conduct electricity."  
  
"That qualifies, now what do you mean?"  
  
"Hydrogen is a very bad conductor of electricity, for it to carry a spark you are talking well over one thousand times the amount of power you get from a wall outlet."  
  
"So what does conduct electricity?"  
  
"Ions, when they are added to water they will conduct electricity."  
  
"So pure or distilled water isn't going to conduct any electricity?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"But we still get to test it right?"  
  
"Knock yourself out."  
  
As Duo sets up the test Relena resumes narrating. "To put this to the test Duo has filled up a five gallon bucket with distilled water. Now he will add a volt meter to measure any electrical current."  
  
"Well there is no current in the water itself, which there shouldn't be. The next step if to add a current in using a battery, fire it up Heero." Heero flips a switch which sends a charge from the battery into the water but the voltmeter registers no current.  
  
"Well just like Heero said, water without impurities won't conduct electricity. So now we are going to add some, what's up first Heero?"  
  
"Epsom salt. Saltwater will conduct electricity, also if someone is taking a bath salt from their bodies will be carried into the bathwater even if it is distilled and will allow it to conduct electricity."   
  
After Duo mixes in the salt, and Heero turns the switch on again, the voltmeter does register an electrical current.  
  
"So what have we learned here?"  
  
"While pure water won't carry a current, as soon as other elements are added it allows for a current to go through it. In the instance of a bath, sweat, and soap will all allow for the current to go through and would prove painful if not fatal."  
  
"So bottom line is, obey the warning labels and keep the hairdryer out of the bathtub."

* * *

Back at the Yuy residence:  
  
"Was that really so bad?"  
  
"Don't count on Wufei and Trowa helping you next time you try to draft me into something."  
  
"Did you have to use water that cold?"  
  
"Not at all."  
  
"Well you'll be happy to know you have nothing to worry about, I have no fund raisers planned for the rest of the year."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Not that I'm saying that nothing will pop up sometime."  
  
He glared.  
  
She grinned.  
  
He pounced.

* * *

I may do a part 4 sometime, but I don't know for sure yet. Also the first two urban legends as well as the first chapter were all credit mythbusters, the last one in this chapter was not done on the show.   
  
Thank you to MarliCat2007 who pointed out a mistake which has now been fixed. 


End file.
